The gift of conversation
I love this message from Roger Schwarz. I’m publishing it here in full. If you’re stuck for a gift, this is THE one.
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The gifts I’m talking about aren’t tangible – no iPods, gift cards, or chocolates. These are gifts of understanding, learning, and connection. Unfortunately, some of the most valuable gifts you are offered in conversation come horribly wrapped. They look bad, sound bad, and can even feel bad to open. Because we judge the gift by its wrapping, we don’t like to open these gifts – and we are poorer for it. Imagine you’re having a conversation with a direct report about her performance and she says, “I would have achieved all my goals this year if I had support from you.” If you ignore the comment, simply disagree, or say, “We’re here to talk about your performance, not mine,” you’ve just rejected the gift you’ve been offered. If you want to open the gift, try saying something like, “I thought I was supporting you. Tell me more; what are you thinking I was doing or not doing that didn’t support you?” If you want to get better at recognizing and open gifts, look for times in a conversation where the person says something that bothers you, confuses you, or that you disagree with. These are powerful opportunities for learning. As you get together with family and friends in the coming days, be generous in your conversations. Look for gifts you can receive and ways to respond that deepen your relationships. Best wishes for the new year, Roger Schwarz
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Reprinted from Fundamental Change: “Written and edited by Roger Schwarz, Copyright © Roger Schwarz & Associates, 2008. All rights reserved.” |
A Xmas gift from Presentation Zen
OK – so I haven’t gone completely cold turkey!
It’s no secret that Garr Reynolds over there at Presentation Zen is one of my favourite people. His site would be a ‘desert island site’ for me (apart from, if I was on a deserted island, I’m not sure how I would get access to the web, and then if I did, I could just skype someone to come and rescue me. OK – I should have gone cold turkey.)
You just have to go and have a look at his three Xmas videos – get to know your emotions again by feeling outrage, hope, sadness and joy. Go on. Go now!
Oh, and Happy Christmas if that’s your thing.
General | Comment (0)Signing off for the year
I’ll be going analog for the next couple of weeks – aka eating, drinking and having fun with family and friends – so blogging will be on hold.
But before I sign off, it’s opportune to reflect on the year, give thanks and share some of my hopes for 2009.
2008 marks 13 years since I started my own business. Who would have thought such a thing was possible? It also marks the birth of a new business, Facilitating With Confidence, dedicated to quality facilitation training, with my friend Anne Pattillo, in New Zealand.
The year began slowly. Fairly normal for Australia, when everyone, myself included, would prefer to be at the beach. February was a sad time when my trusted companion of 15 years, Radar, died. You can read a tribute to him here,and here.
In May I was privileged to do some work in Cambodia with World Vision. Siem Reap was a magical location and I met people doing wonderful work in disaster recovery and community development. The World Vision theme continued in August when I delivered a Citizen Voice and Action program in Zambia. The icing on the cake was a 10-day Zambian safari I enjoyed at Victoria Falls and South Luangwa National Park with my husband. Everyone should have a chance to do a walking safari once in their lifetime.
Back in June, on a cold, windy winter’s day, and with the help of 15 friends and two dogs, we planted 800+ trees. With 17 of us sitting around the table, eating and drinking after a good day’s work, dinner was a meal to remember!
In July I travelled to San Francisco for the World Open Space on Open Space. There I reconnected with many dear friends, Lisa, Yael, Peggy, and Harrison (from the US) and Larry, Becky and Chris (from Canada).
Many of my friends had a difficult year – and I tried to be there for them as much as possible. Kevin, Sue, Geoff and Lyn, Vera, and Coddy all struggled with personal and/or professional challenges.
I didn’t manage to do any improv this year – something I missed. But I did make it to the Applied Improv Conference in Chicago. There I reconnected with more friends: Karen (Canada), Caitlin and Jodi (US), Henk (Sweden), Simo (Finland), Andrea (Aust via US) and Johnnie (UK). I also indulged my passion for the city of Chicago – finally doing the architecture cruise and enjoying the ambience of this fantastic city.
Not long after I returned from Chicago the US elections were held. I watched the results unfold on-line and on my TV and listened to Barack Obama’s speech live. It was a great moment and I was moved in a similar way to earlier in the year when Australia’s Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, finally said sorry to our indigenous people.
I enjoy working with others, and this year I worked with some fantastic people: Geoff (Aireys Inlet), Keren (Sydney), Stephen (Mildura), Jen (Geelong), Brian (Melbourne) and Anne (NZ). And I also work for some fabulous people: Nic, Vera, Greg, Sue and Murray.
Then there’s people I’m just grateful I know, who inspire and delight me: Andrew and Sascha (Melbourne), Lenny and BJ (US), Izzy (US), Patti (US), Fiona (Italy) and Dave (Canada).
And those who generously share their wisdom, knowledge and skills: Olga, Brenda, Heather and Scott.
I was delighted to be able to deliver a pre-conference workshop at the Asia Facilitators’ Conference in Taipei, Taiwan. There I reconnected with more good friends – Gail and Dick, and Paulina. I also worked with the best translator in the world, ET (Elizabeth Tsai).
I can’t finish these thanks without acknowledging the Gang of 12. That old saying has never been truer: friends are the family we choose for ourselves. The Slips also inspire and challenge, and make me laugh – and are great friends to boot. I am indeed blessed.
2008 was the year I first tried rock balancing, embraced Haiku and got back on my bike. I also rediscovered writing, learnt how to do ‘insanely great slideshows’, became an iPhone convert, and learnt some expensive lessons about web site design!
And thanks too to everyone who has visited my blog, to those of you who have left comments and to Cameron for saving me when technology baffles.
Pete makes it all possible.
And what of 2009? More of the same please, plus more conversations, more activity in the outdoors, skiing, diving, improv, time with friends, and opportunities to indulge some whacky, global projects.
See ya.
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Facilitating With Confidence – Melbourne 2009
Our Facilitating With Confidence Facilitation Training only lands in Melbourne once a year.
The dates for 2009 are:
February 24 & 25; March 18 & 19; and March 31 & April 1.
There’s more information here at Facilitating With Confidence – Melbourne 2009
Facilitation, General | Comment (0)End-of-year thoughts on facilitation
My friend Sri is a Professor of Environmental Communication in Uppsala, Sweden. Today he sent this message: “Last year you gave me your gems – the 10 points in response to my question about what the challenges of facilitation were to you. They were useful. I’d like to pose a couple of different questions this time.
What does it mean to be a facilitator?
How much do you have to know about the context (of your facilitation) before hand?
How do you handle uncertainty?”
What does it mean to be a facilitator?
It’s useful to distinguish between ‘being a facilitator’ and ‘using facilitation skills’. I believe any professional working with others needs facilitation skills – enabling all the voices to be heard, capturing the wisdom of the participants, focusing a group; clarifying, summarising, and challenging. These are mixed and matched according to the need, purpose, and context. And that’s just for starters!
Taking on, or being endowed with, the role of facilitator is different. There’s expectations and responsibilities. In this case, being a facilitator means providing the best possible circumstances for the group to do the work they have to do. Sometimes this means working directly with the group, or providing an independent view of what they are, or aren’t doing. And sometimes it means just getting out of the way. What it does not mean is doing the work for the group. Or rescuing the group when the going gets tough.
Being a facilitator also means staying removed from the outcome – which makes it difficult if you are facilitating your own work team. A facilitator needs a measure of independence, and can add value to a group by feeding back what they see and hear without judgment.
It’s a difficult gig, facilitating. Even when you’re ‘out of the way’ you’re still noticing and present. Sometimes the role feels superfluous, but it does enable the group to focus on the work they have to do knowing that someone else is taking care of the space, time and dynamics, if needed.
How much do you have to know about the context (of your facilitation) before hand?
There’s a lot made of the importance of facilitators being neutral, impartial, objective etc. It IS important to be neutral – that doesn’t mean that I don’t have an opinion. I need to keep that opinion to myself. Therefore, it should be possible to facilitate with no knowledge of the topic. However, this makes it difficult to do one of the most important aspects of facilitating – especially with new groups – and that is building trust and rapport. I can build trust and rapport with a group more quickly if I have some knowledge of their work, situation and industry. It also shows that I’ve done my homework and that I care.
How do you handle uncertainty?
My greatest learning about dealing with uncertainty comes from improv theatre – recognising that I have no control of the outcome. I’ve also learnt to let go of the ‘what if’s’.
I also handle uncertainty by investing in my own development – knowing ‘stuff’ that might one day be useful, reading blogs, books, articles, attending conferences, hanging out with cool (smart) people who stretch my thinking and challenge me. I draw a lot on frameworks and models to help me make sense of uncertainty. I wrote about my favourite ones here.
Facilitation, General | Comment (0)Rediscovering typography (and converted to slideshows)
I’m rediscovering typography.
Way back in the 1970s, when I got my first job, fresh out of agricultural college, I fell into a job that would shape me, influence my choices and provide me with knowledge and skills useful even now. Who would have thought?
I had a pretty lowly job, but it was working in the agricultural industry and it was my first step to realising my dream of becoming a journalist.
Harry Pobjoy was an editor. The old-fashioned type, using a blue pencil. He didn’t write much – he was such a good editor he was in huge demand. Not only did he edit my writing, he also patiently explained what he changed and why.
Rod Patterson had been editor-in-chief at one of Melbourne’s daily newspapers. He was sick of the grind and took a job where he could indulge his passion for cattle and chooks – writing about them at least.
Eustace Rulach had also been an editor-in-chief, in Ceylon, before it became Sri Lanka. He left with nothing and came to Australia with his skills and enthusiasm.
Frank Moore was a Vietnam vet, from a farm and a graphic artist. An unusual combination. He taught me about grids and layout and design. He was creative and passionate and great fun to be around.
Owen Foulkes was an artist. He drew exquisite drawings.
So here I was: 20-something, and surrounded by this enormous talent. I soaked up their talent, learning by simply being a part of the team.
I owe a lot to Harry, Rod, Eustace, Frank and Owen.
Fast forward to the present and I’ve come full circle. I’ve become a convert to powerpoint. Well that’s not exactly true. I MUCH prefer Keynote (but you’ll already know about my Apple bias). While a few years ago I would have said slideshows (whether created with ppt or keynote) had no place in facilitation, today I think differently. My eyes have been opened by Garr Reynolds and his fabulous Presentation Zen site; I’ve found enormous talent on Slideshare; Geoff Brown’s enthusiasm for slideshows is inspiring – to the point where I’ve had to re-assess my previous ambivalence, nay dismissiveness, of slideshows.
What’s changed? Well, I’ve experimented with making some slideshows of my own (you can see examples over there on the left). And it’s fun! And it’s allowing me to use all those things I learnt about communication when I was a journalist and to indulge my passion for great design and typography.
Don’t get me wrong – I certainly don’t profess to be an expert in any of these areas. I’ve always searched out great graphic designers to do what they do best. It’s always a joy to work with people who are talented, enthusiastic and creative. Great graphic designers have these qualities in spades.
Facilitation is also about communication – providing the vehicle for people to communicate their messages and engage with others. I’ve now come to understand that great slideshows can help deliver the rational aim (purpose) and the experiential aim (the mood or experience) in an effective way. (Caveat: bad slideshows have NO place in a facilitated workshops – they distract, divert attention and make my job all the harder as I try and re-engage the participants.)
Which brings me back to typography. Great typography can also communicate much. I was inspired to write about this because of this post by Garr Reynolds. And this video, The Girl Effect, epitomises what’s possible with kinetic type. It’s an excellent use of kinetic type; an excellent way to deliver a powerful message in under three minutes; and a message I fully subscribe to.
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Facilitating towards resilience
I’ve been pondering the worth of facilitation. It doesn’t always produce immediate, or even visible, results – and sometimes, no results at all. It’s hard to describe what facilitators do – especially when the best facilitators try to do as little as possible, and get out of the way. So why have a facilitator at all?
Changing habits…
Bringing in a facilitator from outside the organisation or from another part of the organisation sends signals to the group. It doesn’t matter really what signals each individual in the group receives. It’s the difference that’s important because it sets the scene for the group to act differently.
…and habitats (hat tip to Sir Ken Robinson)
Facilitators also change the group’s habitat – the space in which they operate – demonstrating a different way of being with each other.
Even for groups that are made up of smaller groups, the facilitator can set the scene for some unique interactions.
And I now believe the purpose of facilitating is to build resilience. To provide opportunities for people to experience different ways of being together, conversing, negotiating, deciding, acting and living. These are skills and experiences we all need, especially in times of stress and difficulty.
Facilitation | Comment (0)Here’s some alternative Christmassy stuff too
And as we rush headlong into Xmas – here’s a song from Tripod, another amazing Aussie comedy group. It may be a year old, but it’s a good’un. If you like this, also check out one of their latest Xmas songs, Fabian. Language warning.
And if that’s not enough Xmas fun and hilarity for you, head on over to Geoff Brown’s blog to see what he’s done to his family. Hilarious!
General, Just for Fun | Comment (0)Australia! The alternative view
With all the hype about Australia – The Movie, here’s an alternative view. Australia – For The Adventurous! by the Scared Weird Little Guys, known locally as the ‘Scaredies’
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On Haiku
For a few months now I’ve been playing with Haiku. I was first introduced to Haiku as a poetry form and a reflection tool at an Asian Facilitation Conference in Malaysia. I’m still looking for an opportunity to use Haiku in a workshop, but I guess that’s another story.
Just recently I’ve realised why I like Haiku so much and why I turn to it when I lack clarity (which seems to happen a lot these days!)
1. Freedom comes from structure
The Haiku form of 17 syllables – 5, 7, 5 – provides a framework that allows me to say whatever I want as long as it’s in 17 syllables.
2. Structure provides focus
As a result, this limit provides a means of focusing my thoughts – even if I’m not sure what that focus is when I begin.
3. Focus leads to clarity
By allowing myself to write a Haiku I can connect with the core idea that emerges.
Go on, give it a go. Here’s one to get you started:
So what’s the big deal
about Haiku? It shines light
on that which we know.
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